gUys i think i just
ate a dog treAT
i thought it was a VANILLA OREO I’M 100% DONE WIHT MYSELF
Nothing scars you more than the negative shit your own parents tell you.
"Being married someday is going to be so cool. like you get to come home to your best friend every single day and just do life together."
"Slam poetry. Yelling. Angry. Waving my hands a lot. Specific point of view on things. Cynthia. Cyn-thi-a. Jesus died for our Cynthia’s. Jesus cried. Runaway bride. Julia Roberts. Julia rob-hurts. Cynthia. Mmmmm Cynthia, you’re dead. You are dead. Be boop beep you’re dead."
Schmidt, 22 Jump Street (via joshbgosh1)
I have never laughed so hard in a movie theater before
WHY DONT MORE PEOPLE LOVE STING RAYS LOOK AT THAT FACE
Because they ganged up on the crocodile hunter and shanked him in cold blood.
"One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do."