when someone voluntarily helps you out with something you needed help with
why does facebook chat only work when my message contains the words Mark Zuckerburg right now
I’d present her with these statistics and ask her to explain them (bolded for relevance to your specific situation)
"Only Psychos Think Rape is OK…Right? - Societal Attitudes Supporting Rape"
A survey of 6,159 college students enrolled at 32 institutions in the U.S. found the following: (ref 4)
- 54% of the women surveyed had been the victims of some form of sexual abuse; more than one in four college-aged women had been the victim of rape or attempted rape;
- 57% of the assaults occurred on dates;
- 73% of the assailants and 55% of the victims had used alcohol or other drugs prior to the assault;
- 25% of the men surveyed admitted some degree of sexually aggressive behavior;
- 42% of the victims told no one.
- In a survey of high school students, 56% of the girls and 76% of the boys believed forced sex was acceptable under some circumstances. (ref 5)
A survey of 11-to-14 year-olds found: (ref 5)
- 51% of the boys and 41% of the girls said forced sex was acceptable if the boy, “spent a lot of money” on the girl;
- 31% of the boys and 32% of the girls said it was acceptable for a man to rape a woman with past sexual experience;
- 87% of boys and 79% of girls said sexual assault was acceptable if the man and the woman were married;
- 65% of the boys and 47% of the girls said it was acceptable for a boy to rape a girl if they had been dating for more than six months.
In a survey of male college students:
- 35% anonymously admitted that, under certain circumstances, they would commit rape if they believed they could get away with it (ref 6,7).
- One in 12 admitted to committing acts that met the legal definitions of rape, and 84% of men who committed rape did not label it as rape. (ref 6,7)
In another survey of college males: (ref 8)
- 43% of college-aged men admitted to using coercive behavior to have sex, including ignoring a woman’s protest, using physical aggression, and forcing intercourse.
- 15% acknowledged they had committed acquaintance rape; 11% acknowledged using physical restraints to force a woman to have sex.
- Women with a history of rape or attempted rape during adolescence were almost twice as likely to experience a sexual assault during college, and were three times as likely to be victimized by a husband. (ref 9)
- Sexual assault is reported by 33% to 46% of women who are being physically assaulted by their husbands.(ref 10)
Um…while I completely agree with the statement above, I must say one thing. How in the world does asking 11 year olds to 14 year olds about sexual abuse help prove any points about rape? They have no idea what they are responding to, and it makes me a little sick to see that they are being used as an audience for studies about rape and sexual abuse.
With that said, screw rape. And screw rapists. And screw bad people. They suck.
Kids soak up cultural messages like little sponges and analyzing their responses is a great way to reflect on the types of conditioning that our culture subjects us to, beginning at birth. Notice the difference in answers between gender? The entitlement to female bodies in boys and the concept that as girls, our desires and wishes are less important than theirs starts young and is pervasive, and these studies are evidence of that. Most gendered conditioning is extremely micro-aggressive and inconspicuous, but it still overwhelms our development and the way we grow up to view each other and ourselves. This study was not “using kids as an audience”, it was measuring how much rape culture and prevailing attitudes about consent and entitlement to sex effect young students, often ones who are already exploring and curious relationships and sex. It is VITAL that we acknowledge and educate youth about sexuality, consent, abuse, and relationships from the get-go, because patriarchal values start their conditioning long before we ever (IF ever) consider teaching what healthy relationships, consent and respect look like.